We're actually both changing our last name to Smelvin, because Calvin lost a bet in the 6th grade and he honors his commitments.

Ivy asked me out first, and I probably would have said yes if her hair hadn't been on fire at the time.

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO JINX OUR WEDDING?!?! IT'S GOING TO BE SUNNY AND PLEASANT OR SO HELP ME CHAD, YOU WON'T BE GETTING A THANK YOU CARD!

In the birthing barn at the state fair, at the exact moment a slimy little piglet emerged from her mother's womb, signifying the birth of the rest of our lives together. The moment was immensely beautiful, and smelly.

We haven't decided just yet. We were hoping to go to San Diego, but we still haven't gotten Ivy un-banned from the state of California after the Christmas shenanigans of 2023.